Thanksgiving

Enjoying the feast

So...life goes on...the world keeps on turning...who wudda thunk?  Yeah, I know - stupid to think that God would stop time like he has in the past, for me to catch up with the world.  I'm doing "okay".  Honestly, as long as I don't think too hard, I can get through difficult times.  It's not that I ignore the difficult things, it's just a way of coping.  You know - take things in a little at a time rather than be totally overwhelmed all at once.  So - that's what I'm doing.  On that note, yesterday, as most of you did - we celebrated Thanksgiving!  It was interesting to think of the similarities that we had with the first Thanksgiving meal.  Foreigners in a strange land, relying upon the provisions that were around them, and not the ones they were used to in their country of origin.  We found (or had shipped/or brought from the States) most of the things you would consider a traditional Thanksgiving meal.  It was a true group effort. All of Team Honduras, and a few other missionaries that are in and around La Ceiba, and Madison's best buddy - Rudy (a Honduran) all in all 19 people joined in the festivities.  We arrived at noon, and didn't leave until almost 8pm that night.  We ate, played games, talked, sang, hung out and just had a GREAT time.

Rudy and Madison filling up their plates

The "Kid" table

Thank you God for the blessings of friendship, great food, and fellowship!

Sorrow

Jesus wept.  Two of the most profound words in the bible.  The least verse in the bible, but inferior to none.  "Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those that weep." (Romans 12:15).  God knew there would be much sorrow in the lives of His people.  He longs for us to cling to Him and through His Son understands the sorrow and so understands us.   We can be amazed and in awe of a creator who cares so much for His creation that he weeps along with us.  And I believe the choice of the words is no accident.  Wept, not cried.  The depth of the sorrow is expressed in the choice of the word.  Thank you God.  Thank you for loving me, caring for me, weeping with me.  You are my refuge and my strength.  And so tonight...I wept.  I wept great tears of grief and loss.  I mourn for the mother I will never see again.  My heart is heavy with the tears yet unshed.  I understand the sacrifice of being on the mission field and know that there will be times I am away from family.  This was the most difficult thing I've had to do.  I had the privilege of being able to spend some sweet time with my mother in her last days, if not her last hours.  I return to California to be with my dad and mourn together.  My small little family just got smaller, and this is a part that cannot be replaced.  I love you sweet mom...thank you for the life you gave to me, the memories that will forever remain with me....and so I weep...yet again.

Soaring Oaks Missions Conference

Had a lot of fun reconnecting with people, and hanging out with friends! The missions conference was a lot of fun - I had the opportunity to speak a thoroughly enjoyed it.  Today my friends are hosting a "baby shower" for me so I can bring back things for the prenatal classes I am teaching.  It's been a great trip, spending time with my mom and dad, my friends, and eating some yummy food.  However, I look forward to being back home with my husband and sweet girl :-).

Back in California...

...but this time it is a scheduled trip.  I'm speaking at Soaring Oaks Presbyterian Church's missions conference this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  I came early to visit with friends and family, and just catch up with people.  Will be returning Sunday to Honduras, and as far as we know, that is the last scheduled trip we have to the States for a long time.

My mother has made vast improvements!  After being in the ICU for over 3 weeks, she has "graduated" to a step-down unit.  She still is on a lot of medical support, so there is no immediate plans as to when she will actually be able to leave the hospital for a sub-acute hospital (medically speaking - it's a facility that is somewhere between a skilled nursing facility and a hospital).  As she will always have a trach (the tube in her neck), and only partial ventilator support, she will need to be in some sort of medical facility always, unless something can ultimately be arranged to get her home with 24-hour nursing care (this is what we are praying for).

Making Bread

not the green back type, but the yeast type.

Raisin / cinnamon bread

For Christmas my dad got me a book called The Bread Bible by Rose Levy Beranbaum.  This is a 640 page book.  I realize that Christmas is still 2 months away, but since I went to California last week, my dad gave me my Christmas gifts early.  And...since I was spending 8+ hours at my moms bedside, it was a great opportunity to read this great book.  I know that reading a recipe book isn't normally what one does, but it is FULL of incredible information - from the science to what makes bread bread, to tricks of the trade, and even pointers for success.  So, the day after I got back from California I started...

So far I have made:

White sandwich bread
baguettes
raisin / cinnamon bread
beer bread
mushroom bread
sourdough starter (waiting for it to fully ferment)

Beer bread - look at all those airy holes!  Yum!

So far my favorite has been the beer bread.  It has such a rich flavor, it's light, and SO amazing!  What I didn't know/realize about bread - good bread that is - is it's quite complex.  There is pre-fermentation (sponge, poolish, or biga), resting, rise, mold then rise again, ice cubes in the oven, pre-heating for 1 hour, etc.  In other words, GREAT bread can take from 8 hours to 3 days (baguettes).  Whew!  Can't wait to see what else I can make.

Home

For the first time in 3 weeks our family will be together - ALL together.  Mike's been in the States for three weeks attending to medical needs and attending his first seminary class at RTS.  I've been in the States with my family as my mom is pretty sick.  Madison has been holding down the Pettengill household, and hanging with Caitlin (an intern working in La Ceiba), and our team mate Kathy and her children.  Mike arrives home LATE tonight, and tomorrow - Saturday - we will be all together!  Woohoo!

On a fun note - when I go to the States I always take the opportunity to bring back things that I miss.  What did I bring back?

Instant Yeast
San Francisco Sour Dough bread - hand carried in my carry-on bag the whole way
Chocolate Chips
Kettle Chips - salt and vinegar
cast iron pan
Candy Corn

And most importantly - I bagged/iced/wrapped two bags of fresh cranberries!  One of my favorite recipes for Thanksgiving is this amazing orange/cranberry sauce - but not having access to fresh cranberries I haven't enjoyed it for almost 4 years!  Can't even wait!

I know...probably not the first things you may have thought of, but these are the things I miss or can't get here.  I often wonder what the x-ray guys think, or when my bags get searched (as both my bags were) by Security what they think when they look at my array of things.

"Do you want to live?"

If you've not been through something like this before, it can be quite a life changing experience.  If you haven't sat at someone's bedside and have had to ask them the most difficult of all questions, "do you want to live?" this kind of thing can be humbling.  Looking into the face of someone you love as they silently scream or cry (silently because there is a tube shoved down their throat), as they pound their fists as best they can on their bed, as they frantically nod "yes" when you ask the question, "do you feel like your body has failed you?"  And time and time again you have to hold their hand back from pulling out the very tube that is giving them life.  And finally, as the realization hits them - "this is what my life has become", and they rage against their very bodies, cry out (silently) "it's not fair."  Watching this and providing encouragement is all I have to offer.  It's a tough place to be...and this is where I find myself...

Prayers for my dad, my mom, the doctors and nurses as they care for her the best they can.