Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Trying NOT to have an Unglued Moment!

I'm currently doing an on-line bible study called "Unglued:  Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions" by Lysa TerKeurst.  Is there ever a "perfect" time for bible studies?  Or the perfect theme?  I truly think God places us in the perfect place at the perfect time studying the perfect thing for our season of life.  I say this because Man-oh-Man!  Living in a 3rd world country just brings up SO MANY opportunities to become sanctified.  You know what I mean?!  The ol' "be careful what you pray for thing?"  You pray for patience?  God is going to give you LOTS of opportunities to practice your patience.  You pray for a calm heart?  He is going to throw so many things at you all at once to see how often you rely on yourself, or you rely on Him!

Took pictures...can't find the cable ANYWHERE in the house to transfer the cables...oh!  I'll just run down to Target and get a new one - and yet...there is NO Target in Honduras.  Trying to finalize applying for a masters program on-line...and the credit card application isn't working and the credit card company says it's not their fault, and the application center says it's not THEIR fault!  Try another credit card!  And yet...I don't have one...teaching drama to 25 totally talkative-don't listen to anyone-noisy-"this is boring" class - bang my head against the in a new venue with pigs, dogs, and who knows what else making their presence passing through the clinic...electricity going out in the middle of doing a load of laundry...the grocery store completely out of eggs...and this - ALL IN ONE DAY!  Oh the opportunities I had to come unglued.  To let those emotions fly!  To be the emotional exploder that I want.  "That's what makes raw emotions so complicated.  They come from out of nowhere and run us slap-over."  (Unglued, chapter 5).  And yet, there stood before me, the next oh so wise statement, "Do not check in with the screaming demands of the world before you exchange whispers with God." (chapter 5).  Today - I took those deep breaths...I whispered my requests to God - and only a small grumble came out - I did NOT explode!

Now - don't get me wrong - the most recent episode I had of an all out explosion came when I was teaching 80 kids about a month ago.  These are all Honduran children that range from 3-16 years old.  Often I'm totally by myself, so needless to say, it can be a bit challenging.  The day had gone well - I've implemented some rules that help things go that way.  I've had to be stern, and send some children away if they are just out and out awful.  But today was not one of those days...until the very end...One of the kids in my group came running up to me talking so fast in Spanish I just couldn't follow it!  But the panic on her face was real!  I got her to calm down, and tell me what happened. of the 16 year old girls had locked two kids in a room.  And guess where the keys were?  Locked in the room with the girls.  The problem?  The ONLY way to unlock the two doors (one was a steel door, and the other a security door) was from the OUTSIDE!  And I was the ONLY one with keys - which were INSIDE the room with the girls.  I admit it!  I exploded!  I looked at the girl who had done it and shook my head and asked her what in the WORLD she had been thinking?  And how does she EXPECT me to get the girls out with the keys locked safely inside?  (are you getting the visual here?! - arms waving, voice elevated, words not so kind).  Honduras is a rainforest - with an average temp of 95 degrees, 95% humidity.  Those girls were in a small stuffy room and I couldn't get them out.  I was mad, I was disappointed, I was frustrated, I was worried, and I exploded.  I admit it 100%.  Not a shining moment for me.  Bottom line?  About 20 minutes later we got them out after fishing the keys out with a piece of wire through a small opening, and I opened the doors from the outside - all was well - and I was calmer.  And then my thoughts really didn't handle that situation the right way AT ALL.  I exploded!  Yes, there are a thousand ways I should have handled that situation better - and being frazzled with 80 children by myself, a long day, and children being naughty doesn't excuse my behavior.  So next time?  I will "exchange whispers with God."  I will approach the situation differently (prayerfully) and the explosion will not happen!  And where do I look to help with my "explosion" moments?  No farther than:

1 Peter 5:8, "Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

I do NOT want him to devour me in exploding words!


ElAine Ledlow said...

Wow and I thought my day with 23 first graders could be crazy. Thanks for sharing and reminding me that I also do not want him to devour me in an explosion!

nickiedwards said...

Erin, I LOVED reading your blog and I am going to follow you! As I read your blog I'll also be committed to praying for you and your family. As a fellow RN, I know God has called me to more than just the day to day routine of hospital ward nursing. I'm just waiting for Him to show me what that might look like.
Your post reminded me of some work I did in a hospital in Vanuatu in about 95% humidity also and with chickens and other animals walking through the clinic! I totally 'got' the picture you were illustrating. Oh, how good it would have been to pop down to Target!
I don't know how you manage NOT to explode every single day. God must be giving you and equipping you with a supernatural grace for the adventure He has called you to.
God bless you Erin, and your family, as you do God's work.
I'm personally so glad you're part of the OBS and so glad you're participating in the Blog Hop.
Nicki (OBS Leader and International Ambassador)

Pamela said...

Oh Erin, I might have exploded too! Every time someone knocks on our door here (which is every few minutes) I have to say a quick prayer. Believe me I have exploded at kids who have knocked and knocked and knocked (well even adults really). Today when I opened the door to some kids they ran to the side to hide because they said last time I opened up the door like that I was mad at them. Talk about convicting. Oh sanctification...a not so fun process, but I'm thankful for it. And now I have to go because they are at the door even now...